amanda | 22 | this blog is one giant gay shitpost | with lots of she-ra

kitchencombatconcept:

kitchencombatconcept:

distractmymind:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

birdthatlookslikeastick:

redsixwing:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

anachronistic-cat:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

solarecho:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

wingleader:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

simonalkenmayer:

gallusrostromegalus:

vampireapologist:

My kink is cooking in front of my friends who know which knife is made for what and forcing them to watch me use the wrong one for the wrong thing

Use a cheese grater for tomatoes.

You’ll burn in hell for this.

*panting outrageously: I GOT HERE AS FAST AS I COULD

Oh my god, my friend who used to rent a room from me would routinely use a small ass paring knife to chop entire very large onions instead of a chef’s or santoku despite the fact that my kitchen is well stocked with many varieties of knives. In fact, he’d use the same tiny paring knife to cut everything when he would cook; be it veggies, or meat, or whatever. He didn’t want to dirty too many knives…? It drove me fucking nuts because he almost cut himself quite a few times trying to chop things that were too large for such a small blade. Nothing I said would change his mind. Graaahhhhh….

see the thing is i do the opposite. Do I own a gorgeous little set with a Santoku, utility, and paring knife? yep.

caN I PEEL POTATOES AND POTENTIALLY OPERATE WITH A CHINESE CLEAVER???

you’re gonna see me try

i just bring a fucking machete to the kitchen. none of this fancy cutlery stuff. i shall engage my food in ruthless combat

i need you to roll for initiative 

ah fuck i rolled a 1

the celery gets to go first and just fuckin decks you

#guess i gotta work on figuring out the rules to Cuisine and Cutlery#everyones favourite food based RPG#cursed

ok so the first step is to write the Cuisine and Cutlery: Player’s Handbook. i can help, here’s the cover art, just gotta get the title calligraphied on there

i think the rules should be pretty easy, it’s just knife facts and tables of fruits

this is the dumbest goddamn thing ive ever spent an hour on holy fucking shit i was laughing at it the whole fucking time 

Reblogging for the ugly as shit kitchen safe shoes. Like, bar none, ugliest shoes I’ve ever worn.

right???????

FINAL DEVELOPMENT TO THIS POST:

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